One hundred and sixty years after the last men, women and children enslaved on Robert E. Lee’s plantation were set free, their families returned from across the country to reunite with each other and their history.
Sitting side by side on white folding chairs behind the stately Greek Revival-style mansion, more than 100 descendants of all of the families listened to songs, read the names of their ancestors and heard about plans for a patchwork quilt that would include each of their handprints.
They also made a demand.
They called on the country to change the name of the site which is maintained by the National Park Service. It should simply be known as Arlington House National Historic Site, they said, and drop the name of Lee altogether. They want the focus shifted away from an enslaver and instead on the many people who built, farmed, cooked, cleaned and cared for the property. Their lives, they said, had a value that was overlooked and could easily have been forgotten.
“Black history is American history,” Stephen Hammond, one of the principal organizers of the weekend and a descendant of Charles Syphax, who was enslaved at the property, said in an interview. “Robert E. Lee has a history here, but a lot of other people have a history here too.”
At the behest of the descendants, Rep. Don. Beyer (D-Va.) and Sen. Tim Kaine (D-Va.) introduced legislation in Congress last year that would remove “Robert E. Lee Memorial” from the official name of Arlington House. They are reintroducing it this year. It didn’t receive the necessary votes to get out of a House committee last year but Beyer is optimistic it will pass this year.
“The last thing we need to do is have memorials to people who were traitors to their country,” Beyer, whose district includes Arlington Cemetery and the Lee memorial, told the descendants on Saturday.
Tracy Lee Crittenberger, 64, the great-great-granddaughter of Robert E. Lee, who commanded the Confederate Army during the Civil War, admitted Beyer’s words “stung a little.”
“But I totally understand what he’s saying,” she said. “You can’t shy away from that, you can’t sugar coat it.”
Crittenberger said she fully supports removing her great-great-grandfather’s name from the site. “It’s important that everyone knows this is a place where so many people lived,” she said. “It’s not just the Robert E. Lee museum. It has to be inclusive.”
The reunion, long in the planning, was an opportunity to “touch people and inspire people and celebrate our shared past together,” said Hammond, who is a family historian and occasionally gives tours of the property.
Many participants said that the nation is still vexed by race, still struggling mightily to find its way forward. But if there was tension or trepidation in bringing the descendants of all of these families together, it didn’t show. The mood instead was one of restoration and hope that in a time of rancor and divide, this gathering could inspire further reconciliation.
“To get all of the families to participate is remarkable,” said Carol Gleed Weaver, 76, who came from Phoenix for the event and whose ancestors were enslaved on the property. She met many of the other descendants for the first time this weekend but already felt a connection. “You see the camaraderie that has built up. They’re accepting of us and we’re accepting of them. We hope the rest of the country can come together as we have.”
Sarah Kowalski, of Philadelphia, said she was “incredibly moved” to take part in the gathering. Kowalski, who brought her young daughter with her to the event, is a descendant of Robert E. Lee’s uncle. “I could really feel the presence of our ancestors on both sides and it just feels inspiring being here with these descendants,” she said. “Especially as we think about the future.”
The plantation was started in 1803 by George Washington Parke Custis, the stepgrandson of George Washington. Lee married Custis’s daughter, Mary Anna Randolph Custis, in 1831, at the home and the couple lived there until just after the Civil War began.
All of the families taking part in the event, including the Branhams, Custises, Grays, Henrys, Lees, Parks and Syphaxes, wore light blue T-shirts emblazoned with “Ask me about my family.” It was a choice, they said, to emphasize that they want to share this history and their unique story.
Ataro Parks-Lewis lives in Woodbridge, not far from Arlington House. He is a descendant of James Parks, who was born into slavery on the property. After he was freed during the Civil War, Parks continued to work there and went on to work for Arlington National Cemetery for 61 years. He is the only person born on the property who was later interred at the cemetery.
But for Parks-Lewis, 40, Saturday’s event was the first time he had visited Arlington House. “Now I feel much more of a connection,” he said, as descendants of all of the families gathered for a photo. “It feels like family. I’ll absolutely bring my family here so they can learn their history. I plan to come here quite often.”
“Magical” is how Tamara Moore, 72, of Arlington, a great-granddaughter of James Parks, described the dinner held the night before with descendants from all of the families.
“We ate together and we talked and we laughed,” Moore said. “We realized we had individual stories, but all of our stories are connected as we forge a new path.”
As the ceremony drew to a close, Hammond asked the descendants and guests to form a circle on the lawn set between two cabins that once served as living quarters for enslaved people. They held hands and sang along as Arlington’s Mt. Zion Baptist Church led into “Lift Every Voice and Sing,” the anthem that has long been the galvanizing song of America’s Black civil rights movements.
Sing a song full of the faith that the dark past has taught us,
Sing a song full of the hope that the present has brought us;
Facing the rising sun of our new day begun,
Let us march on ’til victory is won.
There were hugs after. And many wiped away tears. They then returned to their seats as representatives from each family signed a joint commitment letter from the descendants and the Park Service stating their intention to have Arlington House more fully reflect the lives of all of the people who once called it home.